Hello My Name Is:: R.I.P. Derek Giles- Day 1 of Facebook Hiatus

Last night at around 12:30 AM I was in Brooklyn at my cousins house and we were sitting in bed on Facebook. I noticed a friend request from a girl I went to elementary school with and really haven't seen since my graduation from 4th grade. I accepted the request and was looking at her page and noticed a conversation she was having with another friend from elementary school. I go to their "Wall-to-Wall" and read them reminiscing about what they remember and who they remember. Then mention my name and one said she remembered me because I was Derek's girlfriend.

Person A: Did you hear about what happened to him (Derek)?
Person B: No
Person A: He was all ready to go to college and died like a year and a half ago in a car accident.
Person B: Aw man thats to bad... (& then she went right back to more reminiscing).

So, I am snooping around on Facebook and through two peoples conversation find out that my first boyfriend, from 1st to 4th grade and friend is supposedly dead. My mind can't even comprehend.

I search frantically on Google. In their conversation his name was spelled incorrectly so I was coming up with nothing. To me it was still unreal. I remembered how to spell his name, Derek Giles, and as I start typing it into the Google search box it finishes my writing for me, "derek giles car accident."

I was shaken, I felt like someone had punched me in the gut. He died January 10th, 2009 at around 5 AM. Thats almost a year ago! He was 17!

He and his family moved to Florida a while ago, but I would get phone calls from him on my house phone (I have lived in the same house my entire life). Then he started calling my cell and we texted. I still don't think I have seen him since our graduation but we had a connection. My first boyfriend, we got married in the school yard in 4th grade. I wrote about him in my diary, I have still have our love notes to each other saved.

For years we would speak every year on Valentines Day, I should of noticed when I didn't receive a call this year.

My friend is dead. And to make it worse, I found out through other peoples "Wall-to-Wall" on Facebook! This CANNOT be our means of conversation! I want to talk to people, whether it be face to face, on the phone. Even email and texting are vastly different forms on commutating then what Facebook is and what its becoming. Facebook can hardly ever be a conversation between two people, anyone can see it. Conversations between random friends are displayed on the "Newsfeed" every time you log on.

Is this really what we are becoming?

18, is the age Derek was going to turn, and it is the amount of days I will not go on Facebook. It will no longer be a daily time consumer for me. I will call people, email, text, video chat. It will no longer be my means of communication and being a college student in NYC, away from my family and friends will not be a excuse to go on Facebook anymore.

How did we once live without it?